8 Tips for Helping Your Partner Cope with Feelings After an Abortion

an abortion

An abortion brings several emotions within a woman, right from happiness, and relief to grief, anguish, stress, and anxiety depending on how the decision to terminate a pregnancy was received. Sometimes, it is a willing choice of a person to end the pregnancy, while at other times, it is a reluctant but the only possible way out. In any case, if your partner went through an abortion, it is advisable the next step forward is to understand her emotions post the procedure and be there for her in every way. Here are some tips for those whose partners underwent an abortion, and how to help them cope with the recovery and emotions afterward.

1.   Stay Aware and Informed About Abortion

So, you just got to know that she underwent an abortion, or perhaps you already knew about it. What’s next? Do you need to be judgmental, reflecting the views of those unaware about the procedure or what pregnancy termination entails? That’s not a great idea and nothing good for your woman. Thus, the first step is to make an effort to understand what an abortion is and which type of abortion she chooses. Was it medication or surgical? Educate yourself about these procedures in detail and understand the health changes it brings such as abdominal cramps and pain, vaginal bleeding for weeks, nausea, tiredness, etc.

2.   Empathize and Acknowledge Her Feelings

We validate that you may have some feelings about her choosing to end the pregnancy. Maybe you consented to it, or not, but the end decision is that of the female as it is she who carries the pregnancy all along. Regardless, now that the pregnancy is terminated, it is best to acknowledge her feelings and empathize with them. Do not go overboard and show sympathy as it may be hurtful or misunderstood as mockery. Rather, try to step in her shoes and radiate her feelings and emotions because the risk of depression after abortion occurs if the female herself is trapped in grief, guilt, anxiety, and stress.

3.   Encourage Her to Speak Her Mind

She may keep her feelings bottled up or unable to completely share about her pregnancy termination experience. Your job is to ease her up and encourage her to open up. Ask open-ended questions as to how she feels, what she encountered during the procedure, and if she would want to discuss the abortion or what it was like for her. Listen out to her actively and be responsive, engage with her in healthy conversation, and be empathetic as discussed above. Do not interrupt her flow of thoughts or her story. Let her speak and continue the talk as long as she is comfortable.

4.   Respect Her Privacy and Decisions

She may be happy about her decision to end the pregnancy or suffer from post-abortion depression, whichever it is, firstly, you need to know your boundaries. Maybe she is not ready to talk yet or not interested in speaking her mind right away. Even if she is feeling sad or low, do comfort her but if she is not okay being around you or wants some ‘me’ time, you may want to respect her privacy, if you think that is safe for her. So, be observant and react to her emotions, accordingly.

5.   Lend a Helping Hand Whenever Possible

Grab her a hot water bag for abdominal cramps, get her a cup of coffee, make her bed for her to sleep peacefully, and probably sit around with her just like that and spend quality time together. Do things that make her feel at peace and comforted. If chores are pending, let her rest and lend a helping hand. She may be going through emotional distress because of pregnancy loss or just too relieved to have been able to end the pregnancy, in all the scenarios, make sure you show your support not just with words, but doing those little things as well to make her feel cared for.

6.   Show Patience, Offer Emotional Support

‘Patience is a key to success’ is true here. If your partner had an abortion, you must do everything to erase that repercussion and feeling of stigma from within or she will be affected not just psychologically but physically as well. Perhaps abortion was her reluctant or willing choice but do not rush her in to talk with you. Keep patience, eventually, she may turn to you and have a heart-to-heart chat. Bide your time and stay with her always as a strong pillar of emotional support and someone whom she can rely upon.

7.   Don’t Coerce for Intimacy for Sometime

Do understand that the vaginal bleeding for women continues for a few weeks after a medical abortion. Even after a surgical pregnancy termination, the bleeding can linger for a few days. Her vagina and cervix need to heal, the uterus gets back to normal size, and overall, some rest to get over the tiredness. It is advisable to not get into penetrative vaginal intercourse within this duration. Avoid unprotected intercourse even if you both decide to get intimate. If she is not ready for intimacy yet, do not keep asking her for it or coaxing her. Let her recover first and then make a mutual decision about the right time to get into a physical relationship.

8.   Introduce Her to Professional Assistance

Even after all the personal talks and support, if you think she may need abortion counseling, do not hesitate to show her a way to access professional and medical help. Get a list of healthcare providers who help women cope after pregnancy termination. Book an appointment and let her know what you are planning and get her consent. Visit the counselor together and do everything necessary as guided by the physician. Be a part of her journey to recovery as this will assist in normalizing scenarios so that both can live happily and together with each other.

To Conclude

So, now that you have an idea of how to approach your partner after she has undergone an abortion, we hope the above blog helps you bring a positive change and stabilize your relationship in these turbulent times as well as her emotions.